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The History of Bill Clinton

HE HASN'T GOT A LEGACY TO STAND ON

By Jerry Grant

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Image  MappedClinton Small Picture

He could have made the history books as one of the greatest presidents the world has ever seen. Talk about master chef's who know how to pleasure your palate… This was a master politician who knew how to placate your problems… How to comfort your cosmos… How to minimize your misfortunes… and how to tantalize your traumas. But unlike most politicians who spend their time kissing infants… he was kissing babes… 21… 22… 23. We don't know how many? Instead of being up there with the greats… the chiseler from Philadelphia is on top of Mount Rushmore right now carving out Clinton… Gennifer… Susan… Kathleen and Monica.

That's his legacy. The Whitehouse blames Ken Starr, the famed prosecutor, for his troubles. As a matter of fact, they released pictures of Ken Starr in a car with Divine Brown. Ken Starr in a hotel room with Frank Gifford and 2 bimbos. Ken Starr in a campsite Park washroom with George Michael…and Ken Starr cruising with Eddie Murphy 4 o'clock in the morning. Ken Starr bounced right back with pictures of a Holiday Inn door knob with an "Executive Privilege" sign hanging on it! Wow! Dynamite stuff huh?

The Whitehouse struck back with a picture of Ken Starr smothered with "Brill-cream". (Remember the Brill report?) Not to be outdone… the Starr team released a picture of Monica's closet and all her dresses had stains on them. WHEW! This is getting downright ugly! Nobody has seen counter punching and counter biting like this since Holyfield-Tyson.

The Whitehouse couldn't wait to saturate the media with a picture of Marve Albert and Ken Starr standing there in their bustiers. Starr finally came up with his trump card… The Starr Report:

1. During dinner in the Great Hall Of China, President Clinton said to President Zemin, "If I may…I'd like to reciprocate and contribute a check to your campaign." And President Zemin replied, "What Campaign?"

2. During the Moscow conference… Yeltsin tried to borrow a few bucks from Clinton, but Clinton said that Hillary had cut his allowance and the timing was bad.

3. The Whitewater land deal became a 'Time Sharing' project. Several people wound up doing time!

4. Travelgate turned out to be a one-way trip for the former employees of the travel office. They got dumped like airplane fuel and their frequent flyer benefits were dumped with them

5. Filegate! A confidential list of citizens who had no idea that their secret lives, loves and loyalties were being scrutinized by a former bouncer whom the Whitehouse denied even knowing.

6. Moneygate: This is going to cost you. This is where you discover that money you donated for one benefit went to someone else's benefit. If it wasn't for a whistleblower, you never would have known that you blew the money!

7. The American Bar Association named President Clinton as the one person responsible for more lawyers "Having to be Hired" in the past year, than any other person in America.

8. 21 year old political strategist Monica Lewinsky visited the oval office 37 times which is 4 more times than Henry Kissinger.

9. Staunch Clinton ally James Carville was seen boarding a plane for Maui.

10. Moved Special Prosecutors into the "Most Active" employment opportunities in Washington, DC This is all headed for the Internet… the Grandest jury the world has ever known!


 

Jerry Grant


 

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