Satire
Nite
Live


The History of Boxing

JERRY SPRINGER…
THE GERIATRIC SWINGER

By Jerry Grant

We welcome your response.
Thank You

grantworld@earthlink.net

The Department of Trash is considering turning Jerry Springer's residence into an official garbage dumping landfill.  The rats are objecting! There are some things a rat just won't do ...

Springer wants to run for political office ... is it too late for the garbage ... hell no Jerry, jump in!

Jerry’s good at what he does... which is staying out of the range of flying chairs.
His bodyguards, who take up most of the good seats in the front row are trained terrorists who are trained to spring into Springer action about 20 minutes into a good fight. They don’t want to get hurt either. However, Springer needs lots of "angry guests". Fortunately for him there is no shortage of mad out there. It comes in all sizes. Rich and poor. Bill Gates is mad at Congress... even though his Microsoft is Microhard at monopolizing the entire industry. Pakistan is mad at India just because they lit a fire that could eliminate their neighborhood. It’s stormy out there! There are plenty of training grounds for rage... anger... fury. Try driving on Interstate 95 at 40 miles per hour and watch the bullets fly. Try telling your TV repairman he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he goes for your jugular. Tell a cab driver he doesn’t know where he’s going, and you better fasten your seat belt.

We all have watched the wrestling world’s most savage warriors in their outrageous Halloween costumes staging ferocious "slam dunks" with the intensity of a typical domestic brawl. Well that will attract a certain amount of strange TV viewers.

But to get the "real meanies", you’ve got to tune into Jerry Springer. His guests realize that they have approximately 10 minutes to make an impression in somebody’s head... or they’re back home in Indiana punching a clock instead of punching a guest... never to see camera one... two and three focusing in on their coast to coast humiliation. How much fun is that? This is how it works. Springer advertises for angry people. Very angry people show up. Springer shows them a picture of their boss back home who they would rather be punching instead of a clock. Then the producers show them pictures of their boss mating with their mate. Then the rage begins. The rankled guest spews fire and brimstone... froths at the mouth... discharges heavy smoke from the nostrils... works themselves into a frenzy... and then gets mad. The producers then grab any guy or gal who is out walking their dog and drag them into the studio. This is called "ambush television"! Angry person is in "green room" green with envy.

Now they are ready to enter studio one which is laced with spikes. The mayhem that follows can’t be matched, even in an L A riot! It works every time. Springer figured this out all by himself. One day when he was glaring at a "Neilson Report" which said his daze were numbered. A bell went off in his head. Now the bell goes off on the show everyday and everyone comes out charging like a bull in a China shop! Jerry single-handedly has brought television to its knees. It’s too late for change because every hungry TV station has discovered that Violence and Vengeance pays off big time. So Springer... the swinger... is a ring-a-ding-dinger!

Anyone for marshmallow fights??

ATTENTION ALL NEWS PERIODICALS
AND MAGAZINE EDITORS!

Jerry Grant's Topical Satire is
Now Available For Syndication...

(954) 961-3933

Image  Mapped


email TO grantworld@earthlink.net

Next Neon - Bedtime Story
Next SATIRE NITE LIVE Page


 

NEW -
"You're A Waste"

CLASSIC PICTURE
OF THE MONTH

 

HOME | HISTORY OF HUMOR
 
POLITOONS | DAILY NOOSE
 
BEDTIME STORIES
 
SYNDICATION | CONTACT

COMEDY NEWS ANCHOR TEAM

 

 
 

email: grantworld@earthlink.net

ATTENTION ALL NEWS PERIODICALS AND MAGAZINE EDITORS!
Jerry Grant's Topical Satire is
Now Available For Syndication...
(954) 961-3933

Be sure to check out the new pages:
HISTORY OF HUMOR
YADA...YADA...YADA

Satire Nite live
email:
grantworld@earthlink.net

This Website Designed by The 3 Marketeers