The History of Aviation

TOO SEXY FOR THE JOB
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By Jerry Grant
 

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grantworld@earthlink.net

Air Force General Joseph Ralston had a sexual encounter of the third kind 14 years ago. It had to be the sexual adventure of all time. Think of it. It was so explosive and combustible that it kept him from becoming the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Now let's not quibble… that's sex!!

Lt. Kelly Flinn who flew B52 bombers with nuclear bombs… which can stress out Sly… Arnie and Van Damme, decided to unstress herself and had a little dalliance on the side to relieve herself of the stress of sitting between 4 very hot and bothered missiles. Wouldn't you?

We can classify that as "stress sex". In like Flinn. What a gal!

However… Lt. Flinn had a different problem. If the President of the United States had to declare war on a troublesome country and we had to nuke some of their pet projects to scare them… but Flinn was busy having sex at the time, we would be in serious trouble. I'm sure you can relate to that.

We recently heard about a friendly sky pilot that was seeing a flight attendant between airports and on certain landings. We'll keep his name quiet so he doesn't get reduced to air cargo flights to some island off the Pacific.

A stunt pilot admitted to doing sex in the cockpit. He said it was the best way to fly!

This too sexy for the job syndrome is liable to get out of hand all together! If we don't do something about this problem quick… this might spread to air control towers where people sit and stare at little dots all day long. Now if they don't fight that sex hex… pretty soon we're going to have a bigger disaster than pilot error in the cockpit!

So… starting with the next flight… I'm suggesting a Litmus test for pilots.

On a scale of 1 to 10

How many affairs?

How long?

How often?

And with whom?

This information shall be confidential except on the Internet and of course, the FBI White House Files.

Pilots who are celibate… need not apply. They have a screw loose somewhere!

Most pilots interviewed said it was the uniform. The uniform attracted women like flies to a barbecue.

But postal workers shot that theory down!

Foreign pilots did not understand the Litmus test… so they failed miserably.

Finally, it was decided that in the interest of domestic air safety… the best policy is "Don't ask… don't tell"!!!

 
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Jerry Grant

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