FAST FOOD FRENZY
HEAT IT - EAT IT AND BEAT IT
anybody remember the home cooked meal ???
aromas coming out of the kitchen kept you in euphoric ecstasy and joyful
anticipation for 2 or 3 hours.
sat down and devoured a 7 course delectable meal in all it’s glorious grandeur
many thousands of years it took us to ‘advance’ to “Fleeting Eating.”
(Eating on the run)
many people got rich from this advanced form of eating. Companies like
longer have to look for flavor, succulence or edibility.
a bun and run.
today are meeting competitive racing standards for dining. Some get very
creative. Some of them have their
own racing forms. Some put a cute clock on your table and you’re clocked on
‘food arrival’ and you’re clocked on how fast you can ‘glom’ it
down…so they can have your space for the next Olympic ‘glommer’.
them even offer a snappy incentive to get you out of there fast…like tasteless
freezer to the geezer!
heard the expression “we hate to
eat and run.” You’ve also heard diners burping all over the place. That
folks, is the fast food frenzy!
are one-finger cooks. They either dial it or they nuke it!
takes the time to prepare. I’m reminded of the old days. A seafood customer
impatiently waiting and starving for dinner. You could hear his stomach
gurgling. The waiter trying to patronize and console him says: “I’m sorry
sir , it’s taking longer then we thought.”
me “What are you using for bait?” That’s
what got us started.
think back thousands of years. The very first meal in a cave took 32 hours
because they didn’t know how to start a fire. It wasn’t until Murray who was
impatiently dawdling with two sticks, caught fire…and before they could put
the fire out, they roasted two iguanas, a rhino and Murray. The Rhinoburger took
a week to eat…it was tough!
the first home cooked meal.
had a microwave in those days, they could have saved Murray and a lot of time.
it’s fast food - junk food and processed food.
Stop eating for one minute and just think where we are going next. Ponder
this: Your wristwatch alarm goes off…you reach into your watchband
and peel off a ‘pill’ and you will have just dined on your favorite
gourmet meal. That Simple!
of appetite - no loss of time - maybe a loss of equilibrium and vision
occasionally, but every phase has some sacrifice.
and Pizza Hut have made driving in traffic rather dangerous and some of them
have crashed into our living rooms trying to beat the delivery deadline. The
so competitive a company is now offering a 15 minute delivery ‘cook
your own pizza’. See where we are going! It didn’t stop there. All you can
eat restaurants are popping up all over the place. You can always spot them
by the ‘Medics’ parked outside.
this started when Svenga
Smorgasbord threw a picnic for his employees which led to the very popular salad
bars, buffets and pig-outs we enjoy today.
cannot , and should not , get so complacent that we forget the unsung heroes who
gave their lives in agonizing
torture, ‘tasting - testing and touting recipes so you and I can go to
McDonalds today with a minimal amount of pain!
in there you fast food freaks, and until we ‘meat’ again.
ATTENTION ALL NEWS PERIODICALS
AND MAGAZINE EDITORS!
Jerry Grant's Topical Satire is
Now Available For Syndication...